These days, you'll find me "working" less and creating more. I find myself waxing philosophical and poetic for hours with the friends who will indulge me.
But don't worry. I don't plan on taking that much of YOUR time. I plan on keeping postings brief and not innundating your inbox with too much content.
I want to spark you to think about your own life and go deeper into figuring out who YOU are now, not who you were or who you thought you'd be at this stage in your life.
Did you just wince when you read that? Yeah, me too.
So why challenge the status quo? Why should you do anything other than what you've done? Because you've settled for LESS THAN and it bothers you. It bothered me, too, for way too long.
Call it a midlife crisis. The timing is about right. So two months ago, I was discontented, sad, and angry in spite of my many blessings.
I knew I should feel better, so why didn't I?
So I set out to treasure my life and my work while working to really appreciate and feel the blessings already within my grasp BEFORE my birthday. My progress wasn't without tears, sleepless nights and lots of soul searching, bitching and moaning. My newfound outlook on life was worth it all.
So this is me, happy on Halloween when I could be whatever I chose. And witchy, vampy, devilish, and angelic...they all suited me just fine. But then ordinary time took over and I felt adrift once again.
No more. I wouldn't live going through the motions. I have 2 children who are watching my every move. I wanted to model a better life for them, for me.
In other words, I'm like you.
I have many roles.
- adult with unmedicated ADHD
- highly spiritual person trying to learn more about my discernment and exhortation gifts
- lifelong learner
- recovering amnesiac
- stay-at-home mom
- small business owner
I'm interested in the shadow side of our lives so much that my small talk at parties began with "Tell me your deepest, darkest secret now because you will eventually."
Those roles aren't more or less important than the others.
What else should you know?
Well, some people would call me goth, weird, artistic, creative, honest, too school for cool, funny, talkative ...
Like you, my greatest attributes and greatest foibles vary from day to day.
My greatest passion in life is to make the most of what I have, what I've earned and most importantly, what I've been given or entrusted with.
My greatest goal is to love God and inspire people to love. When I die, I hope people will say, "She was a God girl; she was a good girl. And she was soooo funny. You know, she was a great role model, even if I didn't realize it at the time."
And if they add, "she was a goth girl" or "her darker side made her interesting" or "Did you know that she could..." well, all the better. It means that I touched them in some way using the gifts God gave me, even if most people shied away from me and them. I'm okay with that.
I'm on a mission to be the best me ever. I've chosen to choose the life I have right now. Not the life I'll have in the future, but the one I have right now. Not that I won't be working toward goals. But unlike in my past where I never measured up to my own standards, I'm too blessed to be anything but joyful.
Join me as we explore. There's always light, even in the darkest night.
GOD. GIRL. GOTH