My sister and I have been formally estranged for 12 years; we've been distant for even longer. I can only guess that my sister harbors...resentments, hurt feelings, regrets & more regarding our relationship. I know my emotions have run the gamut;
I can't do anything about what she thinks or feels. I can't do anything about what my parents think and feel. As I've told someone before, my relationship with anyone is MY relationship; your relationship with them is YOURS. I'm responsible only for me and my actions.
In my quest to change the world, I choose to forgive those who hurt me. Sometimes it's easy; most times it's not. Sometimes forgiveness is a daily task, especially if a deep wound has been refreshed by a new hurt.
Forgiveness is a long process. It's feeling, thinking and repairing the wounds. It's a choice. It's Jesus' commandment to forgive so that we can rise above imperfect circumstances. Above all, forgiveness is...hard.
As a TBI survivor, a mom, a Christian and an optimist, I know I can't go wrong if I love and forgive. So I keep trying. Everyday. I can't say it comes easy. But I see the payoff. I know I'm teaching my kids by example how to turn the other cheek. Sometimes others' reactions to us is about them, not us. You never know what they've gone through and vice versa. No one likes to be judged, so why judge them?
Who knows what will come of our impromptu reunion? I know my parents hope this meeting will be the beginning of a new adult relationship and the mending of that family unit.
I don't know. Free will is involved.
I know I have done my part in reaching out in kindness and acceptance. The rest will play out as all involved parties act and react.
I'm content knowing that I held out an olive branch of peace. Let the chips fall where they may.